Today the whole world set out to deliberately annoy me (and Helen). It started with our internet breaking although technically that was the night before. However, Helen had to shout at some poor people in India this morning. Everything she’d been told by the BT person the previous night was wrong, according to the new BT person this morning. Anyway, then the internet magically fixed itself so that was a relief. Meanwhile, I was having a horribly vexing day in an office. It’s too boring to explain. Suffice to say, I left fuming and shouting (inwardly). I got home and Helen showed me a massive green cable, which our neighbours have installed without permission in our front garden. My inner rage starting boiling over. Then we went to the allotment to calm down. Surely some time spent among the peace of our pumpkin patch would soothe us? But when we arrived at the allotment we found the gate had been blocked by the builders who are building an old folks’ home next to it. Someone had fixed a barrier to it and we could not shift it. Previously we had noted a sign informing us that pedestrian access would be blocked from Monday 23rd for road re-surfacing. We knew that, but this was Friday 20th. So we summoned a man in a fluorescent vest.
Us: Can you help us? We can’t get into the allotment.
Man: Haven’t you read the sign?
Us: Yes. We’ve read the sign, which clearly states that pedestrians can get into the allotments up until the 23rd. We are pedestrians.
Man: Oh. I thought this was a vehicle access.
Us: Please can you remove the thing blocking the gate so we can get in.
(Man goes away and comes back)
Man: I’ve had a word with my guvnor and he says this has to stay and we’re going to be locking the site so you’ll have to leave.
Us: This sign clearly says we should be able to get in and out of our allotment up until the 23rd.
Man: There’s nothing I can do and I’ll need to lock the other gate (also blocking the road).
Helen: Then we’ll just have to climb over.
Man: Well, if you die or hurt yourself then you can’t complain to us.
Then Helen called Tony, whose number was on the sign and thankfully he rang us back and told the man (Neville) to take down the gate, which Neville did in a bad mood.
Then we went into the allotment and found people had been picking OUR blackberries. Even though everyone comments about our untidy bramble patch it doesn’t stop them helping themselves to our blackberry crop. Then just as we were leaving, a fellow allotmenter commented that he hardly ever sees us these days, which made me annoyed again, having just calmed down a bit in the presence of pumpkins and birds. We’re always bloody up there!
BUT there is a happy ending. Because as we were leaving the allotments Neville saw us and said: “Ladies – I’m sorry for being rude to you earlier.” And we said: “We were rude to you too. Sorry.” And Neville said: “Let’s start with a clean slate.” And we all laughed.
However, there is still that bloody cable in the garden. I will try not to think about it for the moment.