I have sent you all an email about the holiday. For those readers who are not going on holiday with us then I hope you enjoyed looking at where we might be staying when we go on holiday to France in October. Now I will continue to tell you about my thrilling life. This morning I went to a very posh house in Kensington to interview the new director of the National Playing Fields Association. I have realised that there is no need for Helen and I to do up our new flat. This woman was one of the richest people I have met but her furniture was covered in dirt and dog hair. Throughout the interview her black labrador kept hoovering away at its lady bits – chomp, chomp, chomp, squish, slurp. I had to exert extreme self control to avoid laughing. The dog reminded me very much of my family’s dead dog Jessie, whom I once tried to kill.